tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post8961120228130746970..comments2023-07-13T08:53:18.338-05:00Comments on I Promise Not to Laugh During the Seance: Dear LeonardLaurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10242720787149022301noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-40126452392263393072007-10-05T01:08:00.000-05:002007-10-05T01:08:00.000-05:00I want you to know that I think of you often. Peo...I want you to know that I think of you often. <BR/><BR/>People can be so hurtful, even when they think they are helping, and I am sorry that you are feeling so alone.<BR/><BR/>You aren't alone, even if it feels that way. <BR/><BR/>You are in no way messing anything up. <BR/><BR/>You are a dear, sweet, eloquent woman that I am privileged to know. If I can help you in any way, as far as I am, don't hesitate to let me know.Ginahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11604097511444010759noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-77390139258928864052007-10-04T21:48:00.000-05:002007-10-04T21:48:00.000-05:00All the commenters before me said the things I wan...All the commenters before me said the things I wanted to say in different ways.<BR/><BR/>I look at my husband who, some days, I feel like he's more like my father than my husband because he's so critical. I need to focus on what brought us together. I find myself jealous of the relationship you and Leonard had. How special he was to you. <BR/><BR/>You are doing all you can. You are stronger than you think. Everyone grieves on a different timetable. You'll be okay. Stay close to your family. Your daughter probably needs to work this out differently. You are not messing up. <BR/><BR/>Cyber Hugs sent your way. God bless you.Sharihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14743533586969447238noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-37655188630180094382007-10-04T21:00:00.000-05:002007-10-04T21:00:00.000-05:00Oh, Honey, I'm SO sorry this continues to be painf...Oh, Honey, I'm SO sorry this continues to be painful. I'm so so sorry. <BR/><BR/>Your Leonard was one in a trillion and you were blessed to have him. Blessed. Hold your babies. Love them. They need you and you need them. <BR/><BR/>You are doing so well (even though you don't see it). Just keep hanging on, even if it is with just one tiny pinky. You are an amazing woman and my prayers are for you to find some peace and some easing of this pain. <BR/><BR/>Big BIG HUGS again this evening, Laura. Big HUGS.Rachhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09317328366288947798noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-89906094709130419272007-10-04T14:57:00.000-05:002007-10-04T14:57:00.000-05:00Oh my word...I just found your blog via "Life With...Oh my word...I just found your blog via "Life With Hannah and Lily" a couple of days ago and I almost can't read your posts. The pain you're feeling is unimaginable, and yet through your writing my heart breaks, your pain is so real to me. I am so sorry you are suffering this horrendous loss, I don't even have words to tell you how sorry I am. However you sound like an incredible person and YOU ARE NOT FAILING, you are surviving it, and you will be there for your kids and they will grow up to be strong, empathetic, caring people because of it.<BR/>Words can not do it justice, I am so sorry.<BR/>JAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-85882531511003065722007-10-04T12:40:00.000-05:002007-10-04T12:40:00.000-05:00Laura,I honestly have no idea what to say to you. ...Laura,<BR/><BR/>I honestly have no idea what to say to you. This is my first visit to your blog and the pain I read in your words has reduced me to tears. I, too, have lost a spouse and the memories have all come flooding back in one giant wave of grief.<BR/><BR/>I know that this will sound trite and hollow to your freshly wounded soul, but I have to say it. It will get better. There will always be a hole in your heart where Leonard lives, but it won't always be so raw and gaping. You'll go through a phase where things are a little brighter, and then you'll feel guilty that you don't hurt as much. That's all normal, too.<BR/><BR/>Hug your kids and hold on tight. Be there for each other and remember your Leonard every chance you get.<BR/><BR/>I will keep you in my thoughts.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-44833846851367465332007-10-04T12:39:00.000-05:002007-10-04T12:39:00.000-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-62342980721321437602007-10-04T12:21:00.000-05:002007-10-04T12:21:00.000-05:00Hi Laura,I do not have a daughter but in all of my...Hi Laura,<BR/>I do not have a daughter but in all of my friends relationships, one thing rings true in my heart. The more they avoid each other in times like these, it only proves how very much alike they are. Your pain in losing Leonard is so raw and so deep.<BR/>He is the best man you have ever known in your life. I am sure he was this same man in her life, her hero.<BR/>Kind of like you mentioning your MIL stating he was HER son, he was YOUR husband. Your everything, your daughters everything too. It is not personal towards you, and in no way are you messing it up. Two women missing the same wonderful man. It may be too close for her to approach right now but she will feel it in watching you and in time realize there was more than enough room in Leonards heart for both of you and sharing the same feelings of loss is okay. Daughters seem to want their identity separate from their mothers and do things their own way. Your pain just reminds her of her own.<BR/>I am praying for all of you to find your own way on this path of grief.<BR/>I'm sending you big heart hugs today and hope you feel them in the breeze or the sunshine. And Leonard will always be in everywhere you want to avoid because you carry him in your heart, always.<BR/>Laurie in Ca.Laurie in Ca.https://www.blogger.com/profile/15599832324966859946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-5455550688000605762007-10-04T11:46:00.000-05:002007-10-04T11:46:00.000-05:00You are not messing anything up. You are all goin...You are not messing anything up. You are all going to grieve differently; sometimes together and sometimes separately. If you make yourself available to your daughter, you are doing everything just right.<BR/><BR/>I am thinking of you.artemisiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12048259618106957687noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-58954790025227734842007-10-04T11:44:00.000-05:002007-10-04T11:44:00.000-05:00You're not messing it up. You're remembering him,...You're not messing it up. You're remembering him, and that's so important. Plenty of people will be trying to get them to forget.Tesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18085712930407611861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-79837261999940257302007-10-04T11:22:00.000-05:002007-10-04T11:22:00.000-05:00Send me an email with your phone number, or I will...Send me an email with your phone number, or I will send you mine, I know I am a stranger, but oh well.<BR/><BR/>I don't really know anything about what is right or wrong way to grieve, or how those choices will effect your kids. I think that it is ok to grieve, that maybe they are not able to feel the full extent of his loss right now, but when it does come for them they will know it is ok, because they saw you go through it. I also think it would be harder on them if you didn't grieve, if you hid it from them. I am sure you will find a way to connect with your daughter. Or maybe your dad or someone else would be willing to reach out to her for now.<BR/><BR/>I am sorry, I suck at advice. I think your writing is brilliant. I hope that putting it all out there and knowing people are sending good wishes helps. Email me your phone number. marshamlow@yahoo.comMarshamlowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00604324969370405697noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-36706057306614128552007-10-04T11:21:00.000-05:002007-10-04T11:21:00.000-05:00I came via Sharpie and Michele. And, I must echo ...I came via Sharpie and Michele. And, I must echo Sharpie's sentiments, too. The fact you're still moving and living is a testament to your strength. And, like Miss Sharpie said, I must thank you for being so brave and sharing your story with all of us. I cried with you, too, today. <BR/><BR/>I'm not sure it helps at all, but I'm here, sending all the love and sanity I can possibly muster to you and your family.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-90063834396264505522007-10-04T10:20:00.000-05:002007-10-04T10:20:00.000-05:00Oh sweetie, I am so so sorry. He sounds like he w...Oh sweetie, I am so so sorry. He sounds like he was just a fabulous husband and I am so deeply sorry for your loss. If you ever want to talk to a total stranger, email me at sm_rl@hotmail.com and I'll send you my phone number. You could call and I would listen to anything you want to say. It might be a break from all the people who knew him and are hurting too.Shellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10252114894311470243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-34426672996411388812007-10-04T09:11:00.000-05:002007-10-04T09:11:00.000-05:00Oh, Laura. Tears are welling in my eyes. I just ...Oh, Laura. Tears are welling in my eyes. I just cannot imagine, do not want to imagine, what you are going through. I am so sorry. <BR/><BR/>My heart is heavy for you today. <BR/><BR/>HUGS!<BR/>JessJess Thttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07034701149199420149noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-89361666624587837692007-10-04T08:55:00.000-05:002007-10-04T08:55:00.000-05:00Sharpie said it perfectly. Everything you are say...Sharpie said it perfectly. Everything you are saying is making me really appreciate what I have. I know this is cold comfort, that your loss and sorrow is making me a better wife to my living husband, but I needed that. And it also underlines how terrible and surreal this must all be for you. I am so, so sorry.Miguelitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10134489935342720776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-43130136680953506242007-10-04T07:04:00.000-05:002007-10-04T07:04:00.000-05:00When my Daddy died suddenly at age 44, my Mom was ...When my Daddy died suddenly at age 44, my Mom was left to rear 6 children - 7,8,9,and 3 teen-aged girls. At 15, I was the youngest of the teenagers. <BR/><BR/>In our community, wakes were usually held in the family home. I remember standing by Daddy's coffin and over-hearing my oldest sister tell her friend that it was too bad that Mom hadn't gone at the same time -- her point being that they had such a great marriage and made such a great team.<BR/><BR/>To this day, I still remember the feeling of sheer terror upon hearing her say that. Until a short 2 days before, death only happened to other people -- my "personal fable" was smashed to smithereens.<BR/><BR/>The fear of losing my Mom filled my thoughts -- obsessively. I was so angry with my sister for even thinking such a thing let alone giving voice to it. The truth of the matter is that she was just being philisophical - as much as one can be at 19 -- and that she would be devastated as well.<BR/><BR/>Still, it bothered me to the point of distraction. I knew fully well how much our parents loved us yet I was worried that Mom would want to be with Daddy and if she wanted it bad enough, it could happen.<BR/><BR/>About 6 weeks after he died, I overheard my Mom saying her night-time prayers and asking God to please keep her well until at least the children were all raised.<BR/><BR/>What a relief I felt!<BR/><BR/>Laura, I share this with you NOT as any sort of admonition but rather a caution as to the strange workings of a child's mind.<BR/><BR/>James's "personal fable" is now broken too and I know you wouldn't want him to be fretting over losing you as well. He may think that you wishing to change places may get you there.<BR/><BR/>I will echo the sentiments of others by thanking you for sharing your story of your courtship with Leonard. It certainly is a fairy tale - I am only sorry your "happily ever after" was so tragically short.<BR/><BR/>Peace & blessings to you today.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-31187459737377176662007-10-04T05:41:00.000-05:002007-10-04T05:41:00.000-05:00YOU are not messing anything up. You are feeling a...YOU are not messing anything up. You are feeling and you are hurting and you are allowed to do those things. Cripes, I don't know how you get out of bed.... I don't think I could. But, I would, I guess.<BR/><BR/>Leonard was a wonderful man and your stories are amazing. He was lucky to have such a beautiful, intelligent, loving wife. But, he knew he did. Trust me, he did.<BR/><BR/>I know that you feel alone right now. I know that when I read your posts - I cry with you. My heart aches for you. And know that if there was such a thing as a virtual hug - I send one to you every day. I know others do as well. I pray for your pain to ebb away.<BR/><BR/>Thank you for sharing with us. Thank you for making me a better person, a better wife. You know where I am if you need to laugh a little.<BR/><BR/>Much love.Sharpiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16069441965855692593noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-89567982729239312782007-10-03T23:37:00.000-05:002007-10-03T23:37:00.000-05:00I know the memories hurt now but thank goodness yo...I know the memories hurt now but thank goodness you have so many clear memories of your sweet husband. I am looking over at my husband right now who is sound asleep and thinking that I can't remember the last time I laid his head on my lap and ran my fingers through his hair, just spending time. And because he is one of the two most important people in my life I need to make more time for him and show him how much I love him- thank you for reminding me of that. And I know your husband loved and appreciated you so very much. What a wonderful wife you are to him. <BR/><BR/>BIG, BIG hugs to you, my dear.Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09264059472790843992noreply@blogger.com