tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post9176566498013624694..comments2023-07-13T08:53:18.338-05:00Comments on I Promise Not to Laugh During the Seance: SandcastlesLaurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10242720787149022301noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-63300771343676809082007-11-09T21:36:00.000-06:002007-11-09T21:36:00.000-06:00You're not cruel and mean - just honest. Maybe th...You're not cruel and mean - just honest. Maybe the hospice worker though you might want to talk in more detail. But you had every right to answer as you did.<BR/>That was good that you could laugh, and see the humour in the situation. <BR/>And it will get better.<BR/>I have a friend, in one of my mom's groups, she lost her husband very suddenly just after Christmas last year. Her older son is a few months older than my daughter and her youngest is just over one - so they were 2 and 11 months of age when their Dad passed. He also had a 12 year old from a previous marriage. I've seen her a few times since, and ran into her on the weekend at the grocery store. She's back at work, doing better; she's still adjusting as it will never be the same. But she is better.Karen MEGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10834425321020756655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-48789082277419599722007-11-09T16:17:00.000-06:002007-11-09T16:17:00.000-06:00Hugs, sweetie.And I find it really interesting tha...Hugs, sweetie.<BR/><BR/>And I find it really interesting that the hospice worker asked if you were all related, (huh?!) I mean, I totally would have thought you all were just expressing empathy with him.Ginahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11604097511444010759noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-71158948153543386072007-11-09T15:32:00.000-06:002007-11-09T15:32:00.000-06:00I'm so sorry for your loss. I just found your Blog...I'm so sorry for your loss. I just found your Blog and my heart aches for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your kids.Marciehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07577768279005041709noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-53652292524747739552007-11-09T11:20:00.000-06:002007-11-09T11:20:00.000-06:00Sending thoughts your way. The last couple weeks h...Sending thoughts your way. The last couple weeks have been tough and the holiday season is not going to be much if any fun. Just take it a day at a time. Lots of love and support is here for you.Betts4https://www.blogger.com/profile/18037389343121979588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-82886005447776255092007-11-09T08:25:00.000-06:002007-11-09T08:25:00.000-06:00Some people really don't realize what an invasion ...Some people really don't realize what an invasion of privacy it is. They are genuinely concerned not gossipy. Your answer was not mean, it was honest and I'm sure that is the way she took it. Hugs to you today.Courtneyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09507014000129322933noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-50323299962239435942007-11-09T08:15:00.000-06:002007-11-09T08:15:00.000-06:00Sending hugs.Sending hugs.Marshamlowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00604324969370405697noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-9065073169628396432007-11-09T07:48:00.000-06:002007-11-09T07:48:00.000-06:00Thinking of you,JessThinking of you,<BR/>JessJess Thttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07034701149199420149noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-26274569097653720832007-11-09T06:27:00.000-06:002007-11-09T06:27:00.000-06:00Dear Laura:When resources are at a premium, the ne...Dear Laura:<BR/><BR/>When resources are at a premium, the need to prioritize is critical -- to use them to your best advantage. Clearly, using your scarce energies for SandCastles was much more important for your family than you recounting your wedding day to us. So rather than feel badly, give yourself a pat on the back for making good choices - even in your grief. KUDOS to you! The wedding story will happen on it's own timetable so cut yourself some slack - what you did was much more important. When the need to blog becomes yet another burden in your life, it'll be time to re-set the parameters. I know I speak for others when I say that I look forward to reading about your day regardless of what that entails.<BR/><BR/>I so understand what you mean about the need for SandCastles - it's a crying shame that such supports would ever be needed. On the one hand, it's good that they're available yet it's sad that any family finds themselves needing them when you consider the high cost of admission. Similarly with children's oncology wards, they are great resources for children with cancer but tragic that any child need avail of them in the first place. I am sure they knew exactly what you meant and the "jaws of life" wasn't even a consideration. I laughed when I read that :) <BR/><BR/>Your response to the hospice worker was neither mean nor cruel -- I saw it as a level of "bare-bones" honesty coupled with some self-preservation and need for privacy. You're overwhelmed and at the end of your teether and you seem to inherently recogize that -- again, KUDOS to you.<BR/><BR/>The story of the "crying man" brought tears to my eyes but also renewed my belief in the power & capacity of the human spirit to feel compassion for others even when our own lives have been torn apart.<BR/><BR/>That you all could show such empathy for each other despite the reasons that brought you to that session surely is a good thing.<BR/><BR/>In my prayers....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-15398302419792462902007-11-09T06:04:00.001-06:002007-11-09T06:04:00.001-06:00When my aunt had cancer, she said, "This is a club...When my aunt had cancer, she said, "This is a club I didn't want to join." I thought of that when you were talking about the group. It's good to have groups like that, and it's a great group---but not a group you wanted to join.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-41083357295355670362007-11-09T06:04:00.000-06:002007-11-09T06:04:00.000-06:00It does get easier. It really, truly does. Love to...It does get easier. It really, truly does. <BR/><BR/>Love to you, Mrs. G. <BR/><BR/>M.camielmomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08335214489006741949noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-35712316133096508742007-11-09T02:39:00.000-06:002007-11-09T02:39:00.000-06:00You know, I probably would have cried with you as ...You know, I probably would have cried with you as well. That was a really sad story from the crying man (god knows I have to hold back the tears sometimes when I'm reading your blog at work). But it also made me smile that you could all laugh at the situation with the hospice worker. <BR/><BR/>And I'm glad that you sometimes choose to share with us, even though you are a private person. <BR/><BR/>Hugs<BR/>EmblaEmblitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17536633790763026037noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-34080334833223135052007-11-08T23:23:00.000-06:002007-11-08T23:23:00.000-06:00That's not cruel or mean. I thought your answer w...That's not cruel or mean. I thought your answer was fair and honest. You are under no obligation to share any of yourself with anyone ever. Period. That includes what you had for breakfast this morning, let alone this very personal and painful thing. It was a very reasonable answer; please let yourself off the hook.<BR/><BR/>The day I found out my sweetie died, I was still at work for a few hours before I gave up and went home. I was distraught, in shock, out of my mind, really. The VP, whom I've nicknamed "The Weasel," because he earned that name, was interested in the drama and the gossip, not me. He'd stopped by my cube to ask me what was wrong and I told him my beloved friend had died. He gave me a creepy fake hug (we are not friends), and went on his way.<BR/><BR/>A few hours later, I'm in the kitchen talking to my friend and he barges in, and he says, "Any news on your friend?"<BR/><BR/>I looked at him, straight in the eye, and said flatly, "He's still dead." That shut him up. And when he left, my friend and I laughed; my sweetie would've appreciated the joke, without question. Grief + shock=no filter. Given that story, I'd say you behaved admirably. ;)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-57738205490376113642007-11-08T22:02:00.000-06:002007-11-08T22:02:00.000-06:00That's always hard when someone asks you a questio...That's always hard when someone asks you a question and you don't want to answer. (I had a teacher who always insisted on the difference between "may" and "can". Kids always asked "Can I?" and he'd say, "Sure, you could...(or can)...but you may not." The class learned to say "May I..?" <BR/><BR/>You are not alone. There's a lot of people who care. Hang in there. <BR/><BR/>Hugs and prayers.Sharihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14743533586969447238noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-74511523847438616212007-11-08T21:31:00.000-06:002007-11-08T21:31:00.000-06:00Much Love and Many Hugs to you Laura.Another day t...Much Love and Many Hugs to you Laura.<BR/>Another day that you have made it through and I have to tell you that I cracked up when I read the Jaws of Life comment. You still have it sweetie, your sense of humor shines through and I love you for it. You are not mean, some things are just too personal to have out in the open.<BR/>Protecting "that day" is something you can do to feel something is in control right now. Hope you have a peaceful nights sleep. Prayers are for you tonight.<BR/><BR/>Love, Laurie in Ca.Laurie in Ca.https://www.blogger.com/profile/15599832324966859946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-10598108690203062572007-11-08T21:30:00.000-06:002007-11-08T21:30:00.000-06:00It does get better, I promise. I know, I've been ...It does get better, I promise. I know, I've been there too.<BR/><BR/>Diane from ywbbAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1845564822661253716.post-80664974127817342012007-11-08T20:55:00.000-06:002007-11-08T20:55:00.000-06:00hugs...hugs....hugs...hugs...hugs.....hugs....hugs...hugs...hugs....hugs...hugs...hugs.....hugs....hugs.....Kathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07135015779221971740noreply@blogger.com