Monday, March 2, 2009

Up Days, Down Days...and Birthdays...

Yesterday was Nik's birthday. It felt--weird-- to not be there. Poppy stood in and took her to lunch. James and I will be there in a few short days to belatedly celebrate. James has bought her something that I'm dying to tell you about, but I don't know if she still knocks around in here so it'll keep.

The days are up. The days are down. It's your yo-yo Rach. I was hanging some paintings and, in the midst of excitement over an excellent purchase made, it all became almost worthless again. Why, do I do this? This moving on without him? the crazy part of my brain shouts. It is not as verbal these days as it once was, but the pain (short as it is) is numbing...crushing...

and then...

James has a friend over and things are a little up again. I look at the painting I got the great deal on and am happy. It's tuscan in its influence, carries the VERY LARGE dining room wall well and can be paired with sconces (thank you, new dear friend Sandy), or mirrors, or whatever else I get a very good deal on. The shop is a little one in Old Town Spring called, "Harper's Fabulous Finds" and the owner is a gracious, knowledgeable, wonderful woman...as is her nephew. It is very hard not to crush on him a little when you walk in the door.

So... We're going back up to Michigan for a week this Friday. I dread the cold, dread the guilt that will be placed around James' shoulders like a too snug sweater... but, there it is.