And so, Summer begins

Sorry to those of you who chat with me at the other place, for this is a reprint from last night's pictures.
Isn't it amazing that, on the first night of summer, my little guy was fast asleep by 10:30. Isn't it also amazing that he can get up at 7AM by himself, in the summer, when he whines, and yells and cries all year long at that same hour. He was up with the birds today.
We went to visit a cousin of mine. He's in town to pick up my grandmother and take her back home to Wisconsin for a couple of weeks. I am glad she is finally realizing that she is still mobile and able to go and do things. They come up every year and we used to do family things with them. The zoo, Henry Ford etc... The asked if there was anything I would like to do and I declined. It was really hard enough to just see them. It's another situation where Leonard's absence is made sharper by would used to be.
Tomorrow is round two of the grad parties, and I also have to pick up Nik's pictures. Once I have them I'll scan them in and share them.
Have a wonderful weekend.

One more day...

...until James is out of school. I cannot wait because the days will not be so empty with him around. It makes me wonder just how I will deal when he grows up and moves on in his life.

We (My dad and I) moved the extra chair I bought to his apartment today. It looks nice there and has also freed up one spot in the living room. It was beginning to look like a parking lot of chairs, and tables and ottomans and couches... Krandall is still up against a wall, awaiting his fate. I have made the decision to give him away. I can't hold on to everything and looking at him is usually enough to send me off into hours of tears. I can still picture my beloved curled up on his side, sleeping, waiting for me to come in and wake him up for bed. I miss him. But Krandall is, after all, just a chair.

James and I had just each other tonight. Nik and her boyfriend were off to the Tigers game. They are also going tomorrow night. I wish she would do more around the house... I wish I didn't have to plead. I have gotten to where I just about give up.

I am mad at myself for being quick to anger today. I was frustrated with my dad. He continues to tell me what I should do, how I should handle things and it gets under my skin. Yes, he is a huge help and I am so glad that he is here but I want him to be just Poppy to the kids. I can't rely on everyone to fix my life. It is unfixable at this point. At least there is nothing he could say to fix it. I know he badly wants to. Telling me I am wrong at every bend in the road isn't going to do it.

Am I as scattered here as I feel I am?

The kitten is a whirling dervish tonight--eyes huge, ears flattened, racing around. I've been calling him speed racer. A boy kitty with a mission.

Krandall is going to the same person who took the truck. The thing is, I wish he would stop bringing up the truck. He is also a bit of a story teller, a bit full of himself, and the exact opposite of Leonard. Of course, Leonard was perfect. This man is my mother's "new daughter's" husband. I can see why she likes him so much. I don't want them dwelling on something that doesn't concern them. Aye...contentious me.

A Dark and Stormy Night

Now, if I could just find the strength to drag those huge water logged boxes on the side of the house upfront for the garbage guys I would be happy.

My other pets (Merlin and Jessie) are not so very please with wicked weather. James and Kittimus thoroughly enjoyed it.

Why is it that waking a child up for those last few days of school is 10 times worse than waking a child up in February when it's 12 degrees out? Perhaps it is nature's way of ensuring that we will welcome them home for Summer Vacation with open arms.

Weekend Review

I have not spent as much time outside of my house in the last 9 months as I did this weekend. Saturday consisted of two graduation parties (much to James's chagrin) and a welcome home party. Sunday was an obligatory visit to my mother so that she could "celebrate" my birthday--it also included one horrendous storm of the type that you don't want to be in the structure (modular on stilts) that we were in. Needless to say, we survived.

Party number one was for my next door neighbor's son. He is the one, I mentioned a while back (sorry I have a headache and can't find the right post to link to, who gave a wonderful eulogy... He is the one who often looked to my husband for guidance. I felt really bad because there appeared to be a low turnout and they had spent a bit of money on the hall and food. I was sorry that we couldn't stay longer. But it is also weird to not really know anyone. I am not a crowd person and find myself uncomfortable in situations such as that. The day was filled with those which is why I think that I have the headache I do. Stress.

Party number two was for Nik's boyfriend; another party at which a felt slightly uncomfortable. His family was nice though and James and I spent a good deal of it sitting out on the patio, attempting to catch any stray breeze that might happen to pass by on a rather stifling afternoon.

Party number three was a welcome home party for Nik's best friend. Her mother is also my best friend so this was a welcome respite from not knowing anyone. I still feel odd when I am out and about but I put most of that on myself. We finally made it home (after waiting out a thunderstorm...well two thunderstorms if you count having to wake up James to get him home).

Sunday was about going to my mom's for a cookout. The cookout ended up being hamburgers on a George Forman (sp) grill. She also bought a small cake for my birthday. Then a horrible, scary storm kicked up. I found out something else about myself. I can add to the growing list of things I am no longer afraid of in the aftermath (including but not limited to: flying, driving at high altitudes)--I no longer fear storms as I once had. The fact that I have lost these fears is, in itself, scary to me.

I hope everyone made it safely through the weekend.

Happy Birthday Me

Today is my birthday. I was born at 6:28 AM so I have already moved ahead...on into a year, an age, that he will never get to see or be. I dreaded this day ever since August 27th (the day after), whenever I let myself think about it. I would like for it to remain just a day now.

My husband always called it Double D-Day. One for Normandy. One for me. The funny thing is, our first home was located on Normandy St. Somewhere there is a zippo lighter commemorating that 50th anniversary of D-Day that I gave to him so he wouldn't forget.

Today the couch comes. I am trying to clean at least that little corner of my world as it will be difficult to move the couch once it is here. I am wondering if it will even fit in the door.

I have a feeling today is going to be very long. It's a day I want nothing to do with.

Balloon Release

That, above, is the new couch. I found it on the manufacturer's website. It is also a sleeper sofa for when people come to visit. It is mocha colored and I am a bit concerned about stainage, so I bought an extended stain warranty too. Wish us luck. I know somebody asked me-no, I haven't yet returned to the room. I don't think I can and I am starting to think that a move will be for the best. I am still so haunted here.

Tonight, Sandcastles is having a balloon release. I am a little petrified at the thought but we will go. One of Nicole's best friends has returned from almost a year out of country. Her mother is my best friend and is the woman I so often speak about helping me through. E., the daughter, was not here in August, so Nik invited her to the balloon release. Suddenly, there I am again. It is the day before D-Day... My birthday... when I officially get to an age he will never be.

Out with the old (and I mean really old)...In with the New...

Thanks to my dearest friend and her husband, I was able to move the couch out to the curb today. Why yes, after quite a few months, 5 to be exact, I have found a couch. At first, I didn't want to buy anything that he would never see...I didn't want to get rid of anything that he had never used... Baby steps, I guess. The new couch doesn't actually get here until Friday, but tomorrow is garbage day and I don't feel like having a ratty (and I do mean ratty) old couch hanging out in the backyard, when the backyard already looks a little sorry most of the time.

I bought my dearest friends dinner for their trouble. I kind of felt a little dorkish and "Oh Hai, let me hold the door for you and all..." as they took the brunt of moving the couch. The onion rings were burnt and had to be remade. Apparently, it got to a dicey part of the Stanley Cup Finals and the boys (boys used so loosely here that they'd slip of your wrist) forgot about the rings and they watched the game. It was a good time and James was up too late. But, I'll worry about that tomorrow.