or was today extraordinarily long? It seems like it had about 4 extra hours attached some time between 10 AM and 3PM.
Today I did finally get the one load of laundry dry. I finished up some work for my job that I had been ignoring and swept the kitchen floor. I then watched "America's Next Top Model-Cycle 3" from the episode where Magdalena goes home to the final 3... I'm really finding some great things to do with my time. It bothers me because, on the one hand, I have no energy. On the other hand I used to take pride in our home...and want it to be just perfect (or as perfect as a procrastinating, lazy wife can) with a candle lit on the table and dinner going (or at least thought of) before he came home.
All of the leaves have pretty much fallen. They make a very nice crunchy sound, which blends well with Jessie's incessant barking at them. She is in "in/out/in/out/in/no-I-want-out/no-in" mode. She always does that this time of year. She loves to be outside, but then decides it is much too cold. After all, Shelties have very thin coats. (sarcasm off) Also, she must bring at least three leaves at a minimum in on her coat with her. I am constantly finding leaves. There was one in the shower this morning with me.
James is watching Titanic. It reminds me of going to see it in the theater with Leonard. I had just found out I was about 10 weeks pregnant (with James) when we went. I made it as far as the Mom telling the children the bedtime story (while knowing there was no hope for her to save them) and I had to pee. All that water and an early pregnancy bladder just don't mix.
Today has been a day. Just that. A day. No more...no less. I wish I could feel positive that this is an existence.
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4 comments:
It was a long day here. I am really hating Fridays. Don't put down the things you are doing. You are doing them! That's a step.
I find that often I come home from work and have no motivation either. Be happy that you did some laundry and got to watch some tv.
I am thinking of you!!!
I am so sorry that this week has been so hard. Try to relax and hopefully regain some energy this weekend.
Hi Laura, I fell asleep in front of the tv last night before your post. The first thought that crossed my mind reading about the leaves and Jessie's in/out exercises was that it seems like a sign of Leonard. I mean the leaf in the shower, no less? I don't say this to cause pain, I just felt that his presence was in every
detail. Kind of like Hannah with Rachel, the signs are everywhere if you let yourself spot them. And I think you are doing fine in your existence right now. I admire your
ability to get through, especially knowing how difficult it must be. I hope something joyful comes your way this weekend to make you realize how truly special you are.
If I lived close, I'd come get you out of the house and we'd go to your neighbors and sit and chat over a cup of that "crap coffee":)
Have a blessed day Laura, you are special to me.
Love, Laurie in Ca.
Some days are like that- seem to be dragged out endlessly. But hey you did do a whole load of laundry- thats something right? Plus the stress of doing me a favor. Which I still can't quite express my gratefulness for. You are amazing, I truly think so.
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