Monday, August 6, 2007

Rock a Bye Sweet Baby James

Today, my son has a birthday. I can't believe it. ***I started this two days ago and then all hell broke loose and so, it is now two days pretend it's still Monday, for me***

He is the one who was eagerly awaited for so (almost too) long. He was the one I didn't believe I was ever going to meet. We had, in fact, given up mere weeks before I became aware of his existence. I was battling (plodding through) the depression that had overtaken me and my once sunny (no, seriously) disposition with the successive losses in our attempts to add to our family. When the doctor hugs you, sighs, ticks something off on your chart and gives her nurse a "look"...well that is when you become truly hopeless.

And then he arrived. After months of wavering between disbelief and certainty that this was not going to happen, "don't get your hopes up old gal" feelings. Feelings that were so strong they led me to not even being able to hear him when they placed him on my tummy upon his birth. I was crying the happy, shaking, no one ever really cries when they are happy, delirious type tears that I didn't think were possible. His little bleats were mixed in with the excitement over the moment, my husband's (God I will never forget that look) face, the doctor's extreme enthusiasm and my own crazy thoughts. But there he was.

And he became, very nearly, king of our household. The prince of our entire extended family...and very nearly pope. Thankfully, with time, we've reigned him in.

I can't believe it has been nine years (and two days) since that moment. It sounds stupid but it does really seem like yesterday. And then I think of all the days in between and realize it is more of feeling of not remembering life without him.

He, who pooped out a barcode at 1 month of age leading us to wonder what he would "scan for".

He who had his mama sleeping on the floor of his room for months because she was still afraid she would lose him somehow.

He with the sawdust sprinkled on his head at the local fruit market.

He who would spend hours on his big sister's lap watching while she played computer games...

only to turn into...

He who would (and does) spend hours tormenting the same big sister by getting into her stuff.

He who still will cuddle with mama on the couch and delights in reading books together.

He, who still is the prince of our household, to match the fair princess who resides there.

How grateful we are to be graced with his presence, no matter how surly, on a daily basis.

And that song? Rock a Bye Sweet Baby James? That is his song and it still make me sob those crazy, happy, shaking tears whenever I happen to hear it.

Happy Birthday little man.


Gina said...

Happy Birthday to him! It's still Monday, right, so I'm not late!

Mel said...

What a great post. I love it. (I have a 9-year old, too, and I can't believe he's not a baby anymore.)

Adele said...

Happy Birthday to your little man. It's funny how fast the time does go, but slow at the same time. I get what you mean about a blink of an eye!

Thanks for stopping by my site and leaving a comment! Have a great day!

Dan said...

What a BEAUTIFUL post. I could sense your love in every word.

Happy Birthday little man (a few days late, but I'm getting better). :)

Shari said...

All the years of his existence in one post. A very MOVING post, I might add. The little prince is sooo lucky to have a mom like you. :)

Thanks for stopping by my blog and giving me encouragement. :)

Emblita said...

Congratulations (although belated) on the little man. A whole 9 years! And you write so beautifully about the experience of having a little boy.

Ortizzle said...

A lovely post. Happy belated birthday to your 9 year old bundle of joy. :-)

MrsGrumpy said...

gina-Yep, I say it is still Monday, right here on this blog.

mel-It's seems like they grow three years in that one birthday.

adele-Thanks so much for coming by. It goes by wayyyy too fast, this childhood thing.

dan-He can always use the good wishes, and it is still Monday on this post. :)

shari-Thank you! And I hope all is well with your little one and that the next few weeks go by with out too much trauma.

emblita-Hi! Having a boy was so very different after 8 years of girl raising. It is very funny because he keeps me on my toes, but also really enjoys (still) hanging out with Mom. I treasure these last few years of dependence.

ortizzle-Thansk so much! I hope the next nine go by much slower.