Wednesday, August 22, 2007

A commentary on comments...

It took me years of lurking and thinking "Me too!" to myself before I actually began to leave comments on other people's blogs. First there's the "I have nothing to add" stage. Then there's the "Oh my gosh, I have so much in common with this person but if I mention that I fear I will appear stalkerish" stage. Finally I hit the "This person already has 5,or 10, or eleventy billion responses, so why would they want to read my comment" stage. In the end, I realized a few things. 1. I don't know these people in real life so what is the harm? and 2. I talk so much I couldn't help myself any longer and it appears that translates over into blogging.

Sometimes I have to restrain myself from posting 5-6 paragraph long comments because I agree or empathize so much with a poster. At that point, an unwritten code of conduct appears before me, and I find myself deleting and posting "Me Too!" or "You're the best!" and then spending the next five minutes kicking myself for not just saying what it was I wanted to say. So if I've commented before on your blog with a "Me too!" or "That's great!" there's probably a good chance I deleted what it was I really wanted to say.

And, totally off topic, what is with Catholic schools being completely un-Christian in their demands for money these days?'s that time of the year again and again I find myself in the check writing cycle that is the life of a private school parent. In the end, it is worth it, but all of this lunch fee, book fee, sport fee, breathing fee stuff can drive a person insane.


Cherry said...

More then once I have deleted my long winded comments and thought that I'd write a whole post inspired by someone else's.... but then it never seems to get written.

I'm with you. Comments are what make blogging more then just journaling, it's makes it a community. (Could I sound any more hippy-ish?)

Do you find blogging much more different then the billboards?

Tessie said...

I was a pretty serious lurker too, and still am on some of the sites I read.

I think once I started blogging myself I realized that I would never mind a long comment. So I didn't much mind writing them after that. I still think it's OK not to comment, or to leave the "me too" kind, though.

Gina said...

I'm all for long comments, although lately I find myself writing shorter and shorter ones.

And for the sites that have eleventy-billion comments, I tend not to leave one. I used to, and never heard a peep, so what was the point?

Blogging is best when it is a two-sided conversation, not one.

Ortizzle said...

I used to write really lengthy comments before I got my own blog. Sometimes I still do, but for lack of time, I try to post something meaningful, but not overblown unless I really need to sound off.

Catholic schools? I hear you, dear. I work in one, and it's now time for the EMPLOYEE Annual Giving. Yeah. I work there for a pittance, so why shouldn't I pour some back into the pot?!

Dan said...

Me too!!

Just teasing! :) You can as much as you want on my blog my sweet friend. I read everything, and respond to everything. I even return visit everyone. Hugs.

Swistle said...

I always love comments, and I love long ones. Also, I read the eleventy-billionth one just as carefully as the first. But I've heard that there's a certain number of comments after which the commenting goes way down because people think "What's the point?"

I disagree with Gina about two-sided conversations. The post is the blogger's side. The comments are the commenters side. The blogger can certainly reply BACK to the comments, but I don't think of it that way. In fact, I leave comments and then almost never check back for responses.

Michele said...

I love comments, all comments. Short, long, profound and profane. Hell, some days it is even OK to get spam.

I used to worry about my comment length, and I have even stopped mid-third paragraph and said, "I am going to take this back to my blog now..." because I was afraid of taking up too much space. Now I say what I want when I think it will add value, insight, humor, and/or all or none of the above. Until it hits comment 25-ish, then I feel redundant. Although the day I get 25 comments on something I wrote, is the day I send each and every person an autographed tea cozy for making feel like a rockstar.
(and that will also be the day I learn what a tea cozy actually is...)

Shari said...

I hear you. The Lutheran school system is the same way. My church also asks for money, too. Though right now they are in the process of building a new, bigger, handicap-accessible church, school, and fellowship hall. I might as well not have money deposited in the bank. It's gone so fast. :)

I find myself worrying about putting in long comments. I think this one is too long, too. So I know what you mean. :)

Sharkey said...

You love comments? OMG, me too! So thanks for leaving a comment at my site.

I feel the same way about leaving comments, though--I probably lurk on as many blogs as I leave comments on.

J at said...

I feel your pain regarding the checks, and my child goes to a public school...supposed to equal 'paid for by taxpayers', right? of course, we have to pay for uniforms and books and lunches, which is all fair, as our child will exclusively be using these things. But the schools my daughter has attended have asked for $500 - $1,000 a year from parents to pay for such luxuries as art, PE, music, etc. I do understand that $1,000 a year is NOTHING compared to private school (we did a few years of Montessori preschool and Kindergarten, and that was about $1,000 a month...), but again, public schools are supposed to be free. Or so I thought.

Clearly, I'm a fan of the long comment. :) And I believe what Gina meant when she said blogging was best when it's a conversation wasn't that folks converse within comments...rather, that if you go and comment on someone's blog, they might come by and check your blog out as well.

The elevety billion comment blogger I sometimes read is Rockstar Mommy. She once came and commented on my blog. I almost passed out. ;)