I still mean to fill you in on the party, but you (well most of you) know me by now and how I am still meaning to finish my wedding story, our honeymoon story and a million other things so bear with me here.
Tonight, make that this morning, I am thinking again about internet connections. Not the wires, but the humanity behind them. I bring this up because of an interesting situation on another site today. As a mom, and a human, I was sickened to read of the baby killed by the puppy in OK. I am horrified that this happened and also so very sad for this family.
Apparently the 17 year old mother has been hospitalized. As would I be. I cannot imagine the pain. Especially when one realizes this could have easily been prevented in so many ways. But it's too late. One can only hurt or (as I learned today) hate this family. Why is it we can sit behind a computer and spout off things such as,"Probably high on meth." ? It appears the mother and grandmother were sleeping while the father and grandfather had left the house. Massive miscommunication there. But, I really don't think it was willfull negligience. Immense stupidity, of the kind I was guilty of as a 19 year old, ending in a tragedy that will never be forgotten. Punishment enough, again, in my opinion. Why is it, when one expresses sympathy and asks others their intent they are accused of "taking something too personally"? When did we get to decide how we think others should think? Or did we? Is it just easy because we aren't sitting across the table from each other? Sometimes I think, at least I hope, it is. It also illustrates why it is so easy for anonymous commenters here on my blog, and on the blogs of others, to freely offer hurtful help. It opens my eyes. In ways, it makes certain things that are said easier to handle. I don't know this young couple, nor does anonymous know me. Usernames on message boards don't know whether a grandma in the background smoking a cigarette is responding properly or not. They don't know her. They only think they do. Or think they know the proper way to behave in that situation. Odd thoughts come to one in traumatic situations sometimes. I remember lying there, at the police station, wondering if I had turned the coffee pot off. In hindsight, in my opinion, it was my mind protecting itself from going insane...by using the truly mundane. I talked about this with my brother in law (my husband's brother) and he confessed to the very same thing. Again, a a mental buffer against a tremendous blow.
So, in short, I guess this is me taking my blog back from the hands of those "who know better than me". And in the words of a woman from my Sandcastles group,"Don't 'should' on me..." I know it may not make sense to you, but it makes mountains of sense to me. If anonymous, and/or username on a message board, feels free to tell me how to react, how badly I am doing, what my problem is, well then I guess I can feel free to not listen. Or, on those truly filter free days, defend myself. My choice, my life.
I'll see you in the morning..er...this afternoon, to tell you about that party. People tell me it was fun, and nice even.