Sunday, September 23, 2007

Baby Steps..

I am attempting to do something, anything, with my day today. A couple of months ago my father bought tickets to the final Tigers game of the season. We had all gone last year (Leonard included) and decided to make it a yearly event. I wasn't planning on going today, because I was a zombie at the last game we went to a couple of weeks ago and spent the whole time crying. My father couldn't get anyone to go with the two extra tickets (he and Nicole and James and the next door neighbor boy were going) so I just decided that I would go. I can't help but think it will be a replay of the last game but I have to try, at some point, to assemble some sort of life for myself.

I just got my Nanowrimo reminder in my inbox,and I think this year I could actually write the 50,000 words. I am going to write about Leonard, and our life together. You have all been so supportive of me with your words of encouragement and your feedback. I appreciate it more than you will ever know.

I'm off to the game. Wish me luck.


Laurie said...

Hi Girlfriend,
What a heart melting picture you posted today. Those eyes on these boys are so beautiful. You must see Leonard every time you look into James eyes, a sweet legacy passed on from father to son. I hope today is better for you than the last time you went to a game and admire your determination to put one foot in front of the other during this hard time. And you will assemble a new life for yourself in time. You are traveling "in between" right now and it is the hardest time to find your way, but you will. I for one, have really enjoyed reading what you write about Leonard. He is a beautiful man (not meant in a girlie sense).
It takes a real man to be considered beautiful. Keep writing.
I am praying for sweet and hopeful days ahead for you this week as you walk through your memories and hopefully create a few new ones along the way. The Lord is walking with you and lifting you up. Hold on to His love for you today and always.
Laurie in Ca.

rachd said...

Hi Sweetie!

I'm writing this praying today was MUCH easier than the last game you attended. I know for me, the first time is always the hardest and each time gets a tiny bit easier. I'm SO hoping it is the same for you.

That photo is an absolute heartbreaker--what gorgeous men you have in your life. :o)

I look forward to hearing about the game, and SO much more about the wonderful man Leonard was. Thank you so much for taking the time to share him with us.


Cherry said...

That is a most adorable picture of James and Leonard.

I hope you were able to sit back and enjoy the game a little today, or at least were able to sit back and breath for a moment.

Scott said...

Hope this game was a little bit easier for you. Regardless you are taking those baby steps which is important.

I also enjoy reading your accounts of your husband, and your words on how much you appreciated him. It's always a good opportunity for me to maybe gain some more knowledge on how to better myself as a dad and husband as well.

Angie said...

I hope you were able to enjoy the game. After my dad died, the tigers finally started winning, and it was bittersweet for me. I knew he was probably getting a kick out of it, and he was still able to enjoy it, but it would have been so nice to share it with him. I can't wait to read more about your husband.

Shelly said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you. So, so sorry for your loss.

Here from Michele at I got two, babe.

Jess said...

I hope this second game was easier than the first. I so admire that you realize that life has to continue on, just in a new and still undetermined way. Hang in there and know that you are in my thoughts daily.

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Shari said...

Hello!! :) Great idea to write about him in your story.

I think you are doing great. Baby steps are important. I hope that it's easier this time around at the game.

Keep sharing him with us. We're here to "listen" when you want to talk about him. :)

Prayers and thoughts are sent your way.

Gina said...

Hugs and luck! Don't push yourself too hard, though. It really hasn't been that long, but if you feel you are ready, then by all means.

Anonymous said...

I'm crying as I read this.
You and your family are in my thoughts every day.

Haylee said...

Hi Laura:

I happened upon your blog a while back and now want to say hello.

You have a great flair for writing and getting your thoughts out.... some interesting & entertaining stuff!!

I am so truly sorry for the hell you're enduring. Leonard seems like he was a fine man and your love for him is palpable .. so, unfortunately, is your pain.

May God comfort you.