My son went over to his cousin's house after school to spend some time with him and also with my brother in law. I think it helps them both. I went to Staples with my daughter to replace yet another digital camera that had fallen victim to my klutziness. I have busted three cameras by dropping them in the course of my career as an appraiser. You'd think I would learn.
James always does "better" when he spends time with his Uncle and cousin. I have a tough time being there because, well, because everything reminds me of Leonard and good times we had and then the crushing feeling that he's just not coming back. I was talking with my brother in law about this. About how it feels so nice to be together and talk about him, and yet it hurts when I leave. I feel so bad for him. He lost his brother, his buffer, his best friend.
My daughter keeps telling me to stop crying, feel better, "I miss my Mom"... She is 17 so I reasoned with her that it will take time, if ever, for me to feel "happy" again. I worry because I don't think she has even faced this event yet.
I have gone back to work. But I work from home so it wasn't really too difficult to attempt a return. I do find the smallest task is hard to do. It is hard to concentrate on my clients when I am in the field. It is hard to drive the truck that my husband was so delighted with. I used to beg him to switch vehicles with me. To drive the Yukon and enjoy it. He never really did. I wish he had.
The best part of today??? A little sticker that my son made for me at his cousin's house. On it are the words "I love you forever, Mom"...and a bunch of heart stickers. My little nephew also made me two stickers. I will put all three on my clipboard. He also gave a blank one so I could make one of my own. I love their little ways of trying to take care of people. Daddy/Uncle would be so proud.