Friday, December 7, 2007

It's hard to type with a bandaid on your pinky

I cut myself today. I was downstairs in the basement, shuffling through the boxes and bags, looking for wrapping paper... "Please Mommy, please can I wrap my presents tonight?" "Now?" "Now can I?" "You're never going to let me..." and I sliced my pinky pretty deeply on a broken china doll. Because those are the kinds of treasures you can find in our basement. My son felt really bad for "making" me cut myself. I really have to work on alleviating his guilt. We've been spending a lot of time on that this week.

I can't believe broken china can cut a person so badly...ouch.

Tomorrow is "girl's night" and I don't want to go. So I'm not. Ever since Leonard and I were dating, the women in his family (his mom, aunts, cousins, cousins wives, and my sister in law) would get together every few months to basically eat and play a dice game involving gifts. They started out as White elephant gifts. Crap you could find around your house or pick up for a buck at a garage sale. I was so proud of myself the year I got the light up conch shell with the "souvenir of Florida" sticker still on it. At Christmas time, everyone was to spend $10 or under on something nicer. My sister in law never listens and always spends around $50, which prompts everyone to be pissed off, and avoid her gift as if it were covered in lice...which, in turn, would piss her off...and so on. It can be fun...but lots of times it's a gathering of one upmanship and petty squabbling. I have enjoyed them in the past. But, I don't feel like crying in front of everyone, I don't feel like listening to my mother in law go on and on about her loss... I guess, I just don't feel like it because it is acting like nothing is wrong when everything is wrong and I'm trying so very hard to not crash. That would make me crash, in a flaming pile of nothing. I can't do that.

Tomorrow James is going to go to coin stores with his Uncle. Russ is my husband's closest cousin and they grew up like brothers. James and Leonard were collecting coins (they have all the different books) and Russ and his daughter (the same age as James) got into it and the four of them would scour the shops on weekends. I'm glad that he has decided to go as he's turned him down several times because "it wouldn't feel right without Daddy" and they will soon be moving to Texas.They're moving on right after Christmas, which totally hurts.

Thanks again for all your support and for tuning in so often. I don't know how you do that. but I appreciate it. ***I keep typing "[" instead of "p" and I just noticed I'm smudging blood on the keys which I guess means the bandaid has been bled through. I told you it was deep.

Have a nice weekend.


The girl left behind said...

If the cut is cleaned out and you've used Bactine or alcohol to degerm it, superglue it. That's what the stuff was meant for--battlefield sutures. I use it all the time; bandaids never stay well on fingers.

Marsha said...

OUCH. I am cringing. Hope it heals quickly. Your game night sounds like it would be fun w/o the mil and reminders.

Betts4 said...

I would say bail on the game night and give yourself some more healing time. Maybe the next game night would be better. Don't be afraid to give yourself the space...whether anyone else likes it or not. Think of yourself and the children and what is best. It has taken me months to figure that out, but I do feel better knowing I can say 'no'.

haylee said...

Wow - I am totally impressed that "the girl left behind mentioned" super-glue - that's what I was going to suggest. It works great - even at times I could have used a few sutures -- but I always thought it was a "hidden under that table remedy" - not endorced by anyone.

I support you nixxing the girl's night out - it sounds like its neither the right timing nor the right occasion.

Laura, you have done so much to keep Christmas on a new tract for your kids despite the topsy-turvyishness of your life. You continue to inspire me.

You are a wonderful mother & friend.

Hugs to you.

Jeanette said...

I second (or third) the super glue thing. It works wonders on paper cuts too! I don't blame you for not going on the girls night out. Sounds like it just adds stress on an already stressful time.

Laurie said...

Hi Laura,

Super Glue, YES. I've used it on my cuts and the kids when they were little. Works wonders. I agree with Betsy on the "girls night out". This is one area you CAN control right now by saying "no thank you". You have been doing so good with putting it together for you and the kids right now, and protecting your heart from guilt will be healing. And it doesn't matter if anyone likes it or not, it's your decision. Besides, if everyone thinks you have changed so much, the area of boundaries is a great place to start. You owe no one anything. (Let MIL place guilt somewhere else, not on you). I am so glad James is getting out with Uncle Russ. It's a good, though painful first step for him in his getting through. Love you Laura, and I think of you every day and pray for your heart.

Love, Laurie in Ca.

Kathy said...

Good morning Laura!
We are home, thankfully. I am thinking about you and your family. I hope that James can enjoy his coin shopping without feeling guilt and I hope that you can find a moment of peace this weekend.

rachd said...

You are moving through this at your own pace, and are exactly where you are supposed to be. If the other "girls" don't like it, too bad for them. You take all the time you need to do what is best and right for you and your family.

The super glue trick is a good one that I have used as well.

Good luck with everything.


Shari said...

Owie.I hope you have Neosporin (Sp?)to help it heal faster. I love that stuff.

Sounds like my daughter. "Can we? Please..." then the guilt trip..."You never let me.." Kids.

Glad that James decided he would go coin hunting/shopping. And you...if you don't want to do something, then don't. It's just not the right time. You'll know.

For a while there, once a month, my sisters and I would make it a girls night out. I am not much of a drinker and stupidly, I always feel like I have to keep up with them. You guessed it. Hangovers. Somehow that just stopped after about the fourth time. LOL (I still don't drink. Maybe four times a year, tops.) Yeah, not everyone from Wisconsin drinks beer. LOL

Gina said...

I feel like an idiot, because I've never used superglue on a cut. I could have really used it on the one I got on Thanksgiving! Ah well, filed away for future reference.

And yes, if you don't feel like going, don't.


Donna said...

Hugs to you sweetheart...