I cut myself today. I was downstairs in the basement, shuffling through the boxes and bags, looking for wrapping paper... "Please Mommy, please can I wrap my presents tonight?" "Now?" "Now can I?" "You're never going to let me..." and I sliced my pinky pretty deeply on a broken china doll. Because those are the kinds of treasures you can find in our basement. My son felt really bad for "making" me cut myself. I really have to work on alleviating his guilt. We've been spending a lot of time on that this week.
I can't believe broken china can cut a person so badly...ouch.
Tomorrow is "girl's night" and I don't want to go. So I'm not. Ever since Leonard and I were dating, the women in his family (his mom, aunts, cousins, cousins wives, and my sister in law) would get together every few months to basically eat and play a dice game involving gifts. They started out as White elephant gifts. Crap you could find around your house or pick up for a buck at a garage sale. I was so proud of myself the year I got the light up conch shell with the "souvenir of Florida" sticker still on it. At Christmas time, everyone was to spend $10 or under on something nicer. My sister in law never listens and always spends around $50, which prompts everyone to be pissed off, and avoid her gift as if it were covered in lice...which, in turn, would piss her off...and so on. It can be fun...but lots of times it's a gathering of one upmanship and petty squabbling. I have enjoyed them in the past. But, I don't feel like crying in front of everyone, I don't feel like listening to my mother in law go on and on about her loss... I guess, I just don't feel like it because it is acting like nothing is wrong when everything is wrong and I'm trying so very hard to not crash. That would make me crash, in a flaming pile of nothing. I can't do that.
Tomorrow James is going to go to coin stores with his Uncle. Russ is my husband's closest cousin and they grew up like brothers. James and Leonard were collecting coins (they have all the different books) and Russ and his daughter (the same age as James) got into it and the four of them would scour the shops on weekends. I'm glad that he has decided to go as he's turned him down several times because "it wouldn't feel right without Daddy" and they will soon be moving to Texas.They're moving on right after Christmas, which totally hurts.
Thanks again for all your support and for tuning in so often. I don't know how you do that. but I appreciate it. ***I keep typing "[" instead of "p" and I just noticed I'm smudging blood on the keys which I guess means the bandaid has been bled through. I told you it was deep.
Have a nice weekend.