I need him. "No you don't, you just want him..." says my father. No, I need him. Really, I do. He was my fix it man. Everything is okay when he is around.
I have spent today thinking of a million odd little moments we spent together. The day he took me for a drive, after my first surgery to get me out of the house and stopping at the Burger King in Imlay City...staring across the table at those devastating dimples. I was luckier than even I knew back then. Our wedding day...when he looked up at me, midway through his vows, and thinking how wonderful it would be to spend the rest of our (it turns out his) life together. God, how I need him. I need the day we went out and looked at that crappily built, but huge, house on 5 acres...the snow down my back whenever we were outside in winter. Looking at him curled up on his side, asleep in Krandall, while I read a book on the couch. Tonight I said,"Honey, it's time to get up and go to bed..." just to see how it sounded in my empty living room
No, it is not want...it is need. It always will be.