Sunday, May 11, 2008

Happy Mother's Day

To the wonderful friends I have made here, the family that may, or may not, lurk here...to all of you who are, or wish to be, Moms.

Today is hard. It used to start off with my husband and my son agreeing on the this question, posed by my husband,"We have the BEST Mommy in the world, don't we?" That won't happen. And each of these events: Mothers Day, Graduation, Prom...all of these things that he should be here for... are breaking me. The little inconsistancies, that grow with time, in my parenting, and/or lack of... scare me. I am making a mess of this. How does one do this? Change that, how does one do this when one doesn't want to, isn't the strong one, and isn't prepared???

23 comments:

Shannon said...

Happy Mother's Day.You are loved.

Nance said...

One small moment at a time, and the best one can.

And with forgiveness for yourself.

Debbie in NC said...

Happy Mother's Day to you too!

Enjoy the people who are here and love them with all your heart!

Erin said...

My Dad once said to me (under very different circumstances than yours, but also a very difficult time for me) with regards to parenting when you don't want to: "you just have to keep showing up." I don't know why exactly, but that really stuck in my head. You ARE doing it. Somehow, you are. Happy Mother's Day to you. If anyone deserved a little appreciation and happiness today, it is you.

Anonymous said...

Resistance is normal but futile, as you are learning. You ARE doing it. I have been lurking on your blog for a few months now, and just want to send you a virtual shoulder squeeze.

Rach said...

Happy Mother's Day, Friend. :o)

You do it just the way you are, one moment at a time. Tie your knots and keep hanging on, Sweetie. We are ALL pulling for you!

HUGS!

Sarah said...

Happy Mother's Day. You ARE the best mother -- because you are, as erin very wisely said, 'still showing up'. That's all that's required. No one is ever prepared for such. They just keep showing up.

desperate housewife said...

Happy Mother's Day! I really, really love what Erin said, about just showing up, no matter what. I was having a rough evening and feeling like I needed a break from parenting altogether because my patience is too thin and I feel all I do sometimes is nag. But I AM here, day after day, and so are you. This counts. Courage, after all, isn't not feeling fear (or unhappiness or impatience or resentment.) Courage is feeling all those things and doing the right thing anyways. You are doing the right things. And the days will come when you will be happy to "show up," will look forward to the mornings.

Heather K said...

You are doing the best that you can under very difficult circumstances and that is always good eneough. Your kids still need you and how hard you are trying to keep everything stable and "normal" for them is a very strong testament to how much you love them. You are loved very much by your family and they do appreciate you even if they don't always know the right words to say to show you. Hang in there. This is all so new for you and not at all easy. Hugs to you . Heather

BetteJo said...

I have no idea how you do it, but I do know there are no rules. I admire your ability to not give up even when you want to.

I hope your Mother's Day was wonderful, even if it was hard.

Marshamlow said...

Happy Mother's day. I don't think you have to be perfect all the time for your kids to turn out perfect.

Donna said...

Just one foot in front of the other.....Big hugs to you sweetie!!

Courtney said...

I hope your mother's day was good. Tie a knot!

becomingkate said...

These days are particularly difficult. The only thing you can do is ride it out - and surround yourself with the love of your kids.
Thinking of you. *hugs*

Betts4 said...

How about you get a punching bag for the basement? Whack on that when you are frustrated, sad, angry and feeliing blue.
I am amazed at the resilience of children in death of a parent. I am amazed at the strength in you as a mom. You have shown us your strength even as you share with us your hard times.

Sending hugs!

Kathy said...

Hi Laura,
Warm wishes being sent your way.
HUGS

Rach said...

HUGS, Sweetie. I'm thinking of you and holding you close in my prayers. :o)

Jess said...

Thinking of you, Laura. This has got to be such a hard time with all of the "events" going on...graduation, prom, Mother's Day, etc....Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and praying for you.

Shari said...

Happy Mother's Day, Laura. Thinking of you. You are doing the best you can.

Karen MEG said...

Each celebration and milestone must be so difficult for you, Laura. I really feel for you, and am thinking about you. I hope the rest of your Mother's Day was better, as well as the rest of the week.

Cristina Mathers said...

you are an amazing mother and your strength is inspiring.

Dianne said...

I agree with Cristina, your strength is so inspiring. Hope this day is a little brighter for you.

Jeanette said...

Hope you are having a good week, Laura.