...until James is out of school. I cannot wait because the days will not be so empty with him around. It makes me wonder just how I will deal when he grows up and moves on in his life.
We (My dad and I) moved the extra chair I bought to his apartment today. It looks nice there and has also freed up one spot in the living room. It was beginning to look like a parking lot of chairs, and tables and ottomans and couches... Krandall is still up against a wall, awaiting his fate. I have made the decision to give him away. I can't hold on to everything and looking at him is usually enough to send me off into hours of tears. I can still picture my beloved curled up on his side, sleeping, waiting for me to come in and wake him up for bed. I miss him. But Krandall is, after all, just a chair.
James and I had just each other tonight. Nik and her boyfriend were off to the Tigers game. They are also going tomorrow night. I wish she would do more around the house... I wish I didn't have to plead. I have gotten to where I just about give up.
I am mad at myself for being quick to anger today. I was frustrated with my dad. He continues to tell me what I should do, how I should handle things and it gets under my skin. Yes, he is a huge help and I am so glad that he is here but I want him to be just Poppy to the kids. I can't rely on everyone to fix my life. It is unfixable at this point. At least there is nothing he could say to fix it. I know he badly wants to. Telling me I am wrong at every bend in the road isn't going to do it.
Am I as scattered here as I feel I am?
The kitten is a whirling dervish tonight--eyes huge, ears flattened, racing around. I've been calling him speed racer. A boy kitty with a mission.
Krandall is going to the same person who took the truck. The thing is, I wish he would stop bringing up the truck. He is also a bit of a story teller, a bit full of himself, and the exact opposite of Leonard. Of course, Leonard was perfect. This man is my mother's "new daughter's" husband. I can see why she likes him so much. I don't want them dwelling on something that doesn't concern them. Aye...contentious me.