That is what I am trying to do. Find something to hang on to.
I took the kids to the mall today. Well, I took James and we met up with Nicole there. My mother came with us and I took them all out to dinner.
I am, lately, feeling rather inadequate. I just cannot get past the thought of him not being here with me, the memories of how wonderful our life was...and the wishing I had appreciated it more.
Of thinking about looking for houses and wondering, if we had moved, would he still be here.
This is killing me...who I was, who I was meant to be.
As we walked through the mall I saw the spot where we shared our first kiss-right outside of Sears, where Record Town used to be. We were 18 and he looked a little like James Dean in his leather jacket, and my girlfriend was jealous. He was the best kisser.
Tonight I saw someone who looked like him. and then he turned around and it wasn't him. It will never be him.
There used to be (back in the 80's) a D.J. here called MoJo. No one knew what he looked like because, on any advertisements that featured the DJs, he was blur. He used to end his show with the same 3 minute monologue every night. The very last words were, "When you feel like you've reached the end of your rope, tie a knot...and hang on." That is what I am trying to do. I am afraid of slipping.