First, it was a friend that was going to come for a quick visit this weekend. She isn't feeling well and can't make it. We are sad, but we also know we can see her another weekend (hopefully) this month. Then our big plans, our getaway, fell through... and it sometimes seems like nothing is ever destined to go right again.
We were going to go to the East Coast to get away next week. To visit friends. We were supposed to go to their wedding in September...and then, well you know and I don't want to type it again right now. Then, we were going to visit after Christmas and Nicole got sick. So I thought mid winter break would be a good idea. But, unforseen plans popped up for them and I completely understand. I'm just heartbroken and too tired into looking into anything else.
I am beginning to think that perhaps I shouldn't plan for anything.
Maybe tomorrow I will wake up and things will look better and I'll be able to plan something really quick. James was especially looking forward to a trip and I can't break his heart.
And I am letting myself think about things, little things, that I shouldn't be. I make it through the entire day and the, when night comes, the tears just don't stop... and the memories (how will they ever be happy without him to reminisce with?) intrude. I am so tired.