Sunday, December 23, 2007

Gratitude

In pouring the hurt, and the ick, and the trauma out of my soul and onto my computer, I never thought I would "meet" (by virtue of blog visits) the wonderful people that are Jess, Jess T., Lissie, Rachael and Woli (I alphabetized you). I began my internet experiences as a cynic to forming friendships across miles, and cables and telephone wires. I was wrong. And today I am astounded, and amazed-filled up with gratitude. J,J.T.,L,R, and Woli, you turned a really horrendous day of anger, rage, uncertainty and tremendous fear into a day to be happy because of the kindness of your acts. James dances around the box and cannot wait to open it. It is the thing he is most intrigued by.

I read your blogs and get caught up in your lives for a little while and that brings peace to me. And yet, you went beyond that. I cannot, nor shall I ever be able to thank you enough. For once, tears over the thoughtfulness you all possess pour down my face instead of tears of sadness. Thank you for doing that for me.

For everyone who visits her and continues to encourage us I am so grateful. I draw strength from the comments here. I love visiting your blogs and reading about you. The cynic has turned into the believer. Many days, this blog...and reading others...are all I've got that makes sense. I appreciate you all so very, very much.

A note on Nicole, (stop me if I am repeating myself) she is NG tube free, they have removed 2 of the 4 drains and placed her on full liquids (she is less than thrilled). I combed all of the rat's nests out of her hair. The 14 years as a licensed cosmetologist and a bottle of hospital provided baby lotion did the trick. She sat in a chair for 3 hours today and is able to walk two doors down the hallway. I am encouraged. There is a part of me that dreads Christmas morning but hearing my son say,"This is going to be a GREAT Christmas!" as he arranged presents around the tree, was uplifting. I have to learn to appreciate and be grateful for that which I have instead of dwelling on that which has been taken from me.

31 comments:

The girl left behind said...

I'm glad things are starting to look up. And bless James' heart; he's got enough Christmas spirit to cover us all, I think. :)

Hang in there, Laura. I know this is terrible on top of terrible, but you are still standing, and still smiling at your boy despite everything. You are a giant.

Hugs.

rachd said...

I'm *SO* glad the box arrived in time! (Woli is truly the BOMB!!) :o) I also hope you all enjoy the gift. :o) We couldn't think of anyone more deserving of a lift in spirits than you and your family. You've come to be a part of our extended friends as well and we just wanted to let you know how much we care about you and your family.

I'm thrilled James is channeling the Christmas spirit, it will make it that much easier for you. :o)

Finally, YAYAYAYAYAY for Nicole! She may not be able to come home, but she is getting better every day! Yippee! :o)

Donna said...

It will be a happy Christmas..your baby is getting well!!! We're all pulling and praying for you sweetie!!! Merry Christmas!!

suedaz said...

I too have been following your daughter's progress here and it is wonderful to read that she is making progress.
Thanks for sharing your/her story.

Karen MEG said...

So glad to hear that your little girl is doing better, and that your little guy is so excited about Christmas. You deserve happy things, Laura, it's nice that your blog friends have been so sweet and supportive as they've been. It is amazing the connections that people can make on the internet.
Wishing you a lovely Christmas, and that Nicole comes home healthy really soon!

Ronni said...

Best Wishes for this strange Christmas--one you will never forget...

We gotta quit praying for strength!

haylee said...

Dear Laura:

James sounds like our very own "Tiny Tim". What a sweetie!

Strength and comfort sometime come from unexpected sources and at unexpected times.

Perhaps Christmas *is* a magical time of year.

Warm wishes,
haylee

Jess said...

Laura,

I'm so glad the box made it on time! We had such a good time planning it and I hope you like what we sent. ;-)

I'm glad to read that Nicole is doing better. I'll continue to look for updates.

Lissie said...

Laura,

After Hannah died, I finally "got it", that is, I understood how much the reaching out of others can mean. Like you, I am still grieving and will continue to do so for a long time. However, every time someone out of the blue demonstrates love and compassion for me and my family, it uplifts me so much. We hope our little remembrance of your family helps in some small way.

When I read your profile I noted that you are also a Gemini. My father was a real estate appraiser so I could relate to that as well. Then, as you know, for many years my daughter Jessica was a hair dresser. My point in saying this is that if we put forth only a little effort, we can readily find ways to feel connected to another person.

May you and your family have a peaceful Christmas.

All the best,

Melissa AKA Lissie

Shannon said...

I'm glad to hear that Nicole is improving! Doo waaa! (that is how Darsie says Hoorah!).

It will be a good Christmas Everyone is rooting for you, James, and Nicole. Lots of hugs and warm thoughts.

This is the first Christmas in a long time (or even time) that Jeff and I (my husband) have reached out and thanked people we hadn't but needed to for deeds or help they had given in the past. We've reconnected with friends and family. I attribute a lot of this to you and your story. We're living every day and every goal.

Thank you.

HUGS.

Lisa said...

Best wishes to you for this holiday season, Laura. Reading your words is inspiring to me. I'm so glad to hear your daughter is on the mend.

Hey, I've met some of my favorite people, including my husband AND found the opportunity for my daughter's adoption online!

Nance said...

Reading the words of your son made my day.

Hell, it made my Christmas. And more than you can know.

Thinking of you and glad that you are finding hope.

Emblita said...

Dear Laura,
I'm thrilled to bits that Nicole is getting better! And that in all this sorrow, people have shown you that there is love, compassion and empathy in this world.
Have a wonderful holiday, and what a great little boy you have.
Hugs and kisses
Embla

Emblita said...

Ps. you should be getting a little package from Iceland one of these days- its nothing big- just a little something as a thank you for all the help with the boys christmas present. Thank you again for that.
Hugs

Laurie said...

"This is going to be a GREAT Christmas!"as he arranged presents around the tree, was uplifting. I have to learn to appreciate and be grateful for that which I have instead of dwelling on that which has been taken from me."
This is it Laura, a big step but a very important one when you look at James' Christmas spirit. Thank God that Nicole is getting better each day and is gaining strength. Your kids will be okay Laura, the really will be. I pray your day will be special in some way that lets you know that you are doing okay too, because you are. We all love you here and care so much. I want you to see yourself as a woman of great value, as we see you to be. Bless you Laura and may you have extra peace tonight.

Love, Laurie in Ca.

Misguided Mommy said...

how strange that right as you were commenting on my blog I was pushing the comment button on your blog to tell you that i am glad to hear that your daughter is improving. i really wish you the best christmas day possible and i hope that nic gets better..

and finally..baby lotion, in hair, really that works...interesting

Maya's Granny said...

Laura,
It is great to hear that Nicole is getting so much better so fast. Know that there are legions of us out here who holding you in our hearts and wishing the best for you. May you have enough time to grieve as much as you need, and heal to the depth of your hurt.

Tall Drink of Water said...

Laura,

I know I probably sound like a broken record (or MP3 player), but seriously, I admire you for the strong and courageous woman that you are. Life has dealt you an immensely difficult hand, and you are handling it with such grace, even if it does not feel like you are.

I am touched that my blog is listed among the ones you read. I know my blog is pretty mundane, and perhaps downright boring. It has become a place for me to catalog my thoughts.

I am still lighting candles for Nik, and am glad to hear that she is stabilized. It is so hard when our children are so ill. My daughter spent the year between when she was 2-1/2 and 3-1/2 in and out of the hospital with RSV, asthma and dehydration from the Norwalk virus. Being so powerless, as her mother, to do anything, was incredibly humbling. And painful.

I think of you and your family every day.

Love,

Jen

Swistle said...

I am SO glad to hear she's doing better.

Betts4 said...

I haven't posted much, I am struggling this week, but I have been thinking of you and reading. Hugs to you and your kids this day. Hope you will be strong for tomorrow.

Marsha said...

I am sending prayers and good wishes for you and your family.

Ortizzle said...

So happy to hear things are on the mend. Your Christmas will not be conventional by any means, but, as the years go by, it will probably be remembered as one of the best ever because if ever there was the true spirit of Christmas in a household, I think it must be yours.

xxxxxxxx Merry, merry,& good wishes to all.

rachd said...

Merry Christmas to you and your family, Laura.

Much love and many many HUGS!

:o),
Rachael

Cherry said...

I'm so glad to hear that Nicole is improving and has been able to get up and walk a bit. You continue to be in my thoughts every day.

Many HUGS!

Woli said...

Merry Christmas! As my family and I have been celebrating this morning, you and Rach D are both close to my heart. We lost my husband's father this past year. It has been a very different Christmas for us as well. We have been creating new traditions and different memories.

Woli

Laurie said...

Hi Laura, Nicole and James,

I hope you all are having a good Christmas Day. It is different, this I know with all that has been happening, but thank God Nicole is getting better and the three of you are loved so much by us here. And James, I want to know what is in the box!!! I am sure it has been opened by now.:) Love you all and have a very blessed day.

Laurie in Ca.

CountryGirl said...

Laura, I'm a lurker who just wanted to wish you and your children a Merry Christmas. You have many people pulling for you all over the country.

Jess said...

Merry Christmas, Laura.

Maya's Granny said...

I have awarded you a Roar for Powerful Words.

"Laura at I Promise Not To Laugh During The Seance, who writes powerful words because of the honesty of them. Laura is a recent widow with two children, one of whom is in the hospital at the moment. Her willingness to share her pain and despair, to pour out the doubts and fears she experiences, as well as the moments of joy, demand respect"

Come visit for more information.

Tessie said...

I hope you had a Merry Christmas.

I appreciate all of your posts and your comments as well.

The Stevens Family said...

I hope you had a merry christmas! I'm so glad to read Nicole is doing better!