Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Four Months

That sometimes feel like four seconds, or four lifetimes. It is four months since he last held me. Four months since I looked at the hair I needed to cut curling against the nape of his neck as he stood at the sink. Four forevers.

And, for some reason, my eyes hit the clock at that exact moment, four months ago, that my life with him ended. And that crushing blow of disbelief hit me again. I still need him just as much as I needed him then.

On a very, very happy note, Nicole is home. They let her come home to me on Christmas Eve. Her brother and I had gone up to see her, on the way to take him to my brother in law's for their Christmas celebration and they surprised us with the news. Unfortunately, her incision re-opened as we were getting her ready so they had to staple her back up...She is doing really well. Today is the first day she sounded like herself in ever so long. (and her mama was able to sleep for once) Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers. I believe that they helped.

Yesterday was quiet. Nicole was not really up to opening gifts, but she gamely went along...hugged by Krandall (see previous posts about chair). She is doing really , really well.


We opened the package from my dear and wonderful blogging friends, who have welcomed us into their lives and shown us so much caring. It contained so many wonderful things... and James was so excited to go through them all. There were slippers for all of us (gosh are they comfy), three embroidered fleece blankets (Nicole has not taken hers from her shoulders since I put it there, James and I cuddle on the couch in ours), popcorn, popcorn flavoring and even plastic popcorn boxes(!), candies, a netflix subscription, a coffee cup and starbucks gift card, and wonderful cards from all of them. Thank you, all of you so much. That was a wonderful thing to do for us. James loved the bag it came in. We can't wait until Nicole is feeling up to a movie night! I am still stunned by it all. The stamped cards were gorgeous, and Ella looks so adorable on the card you sent, Jess. Side note: Jess T, I got the card with Sydney on Santa's lap and I love the look on her face. I hope each and every one of you had a wonderful made ours so very special. To be thought of like that...I just can't put into words. James is really wanting to send a thank you to each of you (as is his mama). If you didn't give your address, and feel comfortable doing so, please email me your address so that we can thank you.

I know a couple of people asked for bracelets a while back. Now that Nicole is on the mend, I will be going back through my email to get those out. I am sorry it took so long.

Yesterday, Nicole's best friend came by to see Nicole, exchange gifts and say goodbye because she is going to Florida for a while. She was like another daughter to Leonard and I, spending most school afternoons with us from the time she was 10, till 14. She gave an eloquent speech at the service and is a wonderful girl that I am glad is always there for Nicole, even with their ups and downs. After the service, she asked if she could have some of the flowers and she took quite a few, which I thought was odd...but then he meant a lot to her-she had told me she was going to have Leonard walk her down the aisle when she got married (that makes me so incredibly sad to think about.). Yesterday she gave Nicole and I bracelets made out of the flowers from his service. I was stunned. They are beautiful. What a wonderful child she is.
That is the picture you see above, on my the sleeve of the newly given jammies from my daughter. She had my dad do her shopping for her, sweet thing. And, I did not know that I had a freckle there, on my hand. Huh.

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday and I really hope to begin my blog visits again...really soon. I need them.



Woli said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kesha said...

Laura you really are blessed to have such wonderful friends. I was in tears just reading of their kindness to you.
May the coming year be a year of healing and love.



rachd said...

I'm delighted Nicole is doing well enough to be home!

I'm also SO SO happy our gift could so lift your spirits! Yay! Thank you for being such a delightful and wonderful friend. You deserve it! :o)

As an aside, I too find time is the strangest thing--five months is so fleeting, and yet, a lifetime. Hang in there my friend!

Nance said...

Thank you for being so thoughtful as to keeping us updated and sharing your Christmas with us.

You remain in my thoughts.

Jess said...

I'm so pleased you all like your family gift! And I'm even happier that Nicole is doing better. Was she able to be home for Christmas?

Cathy said...

love and good wishes from me.
we are on week EIGHT. I barely got through yesterday, I am glad it is over. I am just barely starting to feel like the 4 of us are family, without #5.
I am glad your Daughter is doing a bit better. The worst we have had to deal with since Oct. 26th is a broken hot water tank, lice and my own mom's health. I thank god every day for my boys health. I really have been thinking of you, we are connected through our sad circumstance. C

haylee said...

Dear Laura:

Your cyber-friends have demonstrated that "care" packages are aptly named :)

Glad Nicole is home & healing. The "movie package" with all the creature comforts -- especially warm blankets & cosy slippers -- is just what the doctor ordered. What absolutely perfect gifts!

Best wishes,

Laurie said...

Comfort Gifts, what a great present for three most loved people who needed comfort this season. Perfect gifts ladies, you did great. I am so glad to read that Nicole got out in time for Christmas and that she is doing much better. Give her my love. Those bracelets were made with flowers from Leonards service? Okay, I am completely stumped. They are so pretty. I hope this coming week is one of continued healing for Nicole and for you too. And I am praying that this coming new year is one of many blessings and more healing for all three of you. I love you guys.

Laurie in Ca.l

Jeanette said...

I'm so glad that your daughter is doing better and home with you again. And what a wonderful, thoughtful gift from your blog friends. I am learning what a awesome group of people the blog community is, and am glad to be a part of it! You are always in my thoughts.

Shari said...

Wonderful news that Nicole came home for Christmas!! What a thoughtful group of friends you have that banded together and sent one big box of gifts to you and your family.

Never underestimate the power of the Internet-as far as blogfriendship goes.

I, too, was kind of cynical about reaching out to people via the Net, but I don't have to miss anything that's being "said" to me. No "what was thats" or "huhs". It's all written for me to read.

Take care, Laura. Yes, I believe in the power of prayers, too.

Stay warm.

Betts4 said...

Very glad that 2007 is coming to a close and very glad that your christmas was okay. It was a difficult day but friends helped. And that is what friends are, support and comfort.

Donna said...

I'm so glad Nicole is home!!! What a gift! hugs sweetheart!

Anonymous said...

So glad to hear you made it through Xmas with the most fabulous news that Nicole is home. May your new year be even better!!

haylee said...

Dear Laura:

Upon reading your edits & seeing the pic, I have to say that bracelet is very nice. Are the actual petals encapsulated in the beads or it is a compound of some sort shaped as beads? What a unique and thoughtful gift.To think she had planned this since August makes it all the more precious. So very thoughtful indeed.

Sorry to hear about Nik's incision. The abdomenal area gets a lot of strain with coughing and what not. Most of the doctors I worked with favored waiting a week. But, even then, there were times when the incision re-opened so, who knows? I hope it mends quickly. Bracing her tummy with a pillow when she coughs helps to support the area. I am wondering if after all her worries she minded having all the "gadgets" removed. I hope not.

Both "time" and "memories" can be double-edged swords - both friend and foe - sometimes soothing and othertimes painful. I do believe that, in the end, the scales tip in a positive way.

I trust y'all are hunkered down under your fuzzy blankets and getting some much needed down-time. It's good that Nicole is not missing school while she mends. What are her plans for after graduation?

warm regards,

The Stevens Family said...

Hey Laura I love the bracelets and am glad to hear Nicole is on the mend and home with her mama where she belongs! Lots of love and hugs being sent your way!

Laurie said...

Hi Laura,

Just dropping by this morning to let you know I'm thinking about the three of you and praying Nicole is getting better and better. I just know that 2008 is going to be a better year for so many deserving people who comment here. It has been such a rough year for so many people and I ask God to bless you all in the upcoming new year. I hope you are getting much needed rest and that Nicole is enjoying real food again to gain her strength back. Love to all of you.

Laurie in Ca.

haylee said...

Dear Laurie in Ca:

Thank you for your kind wishes. I pray that God richly blesses you & yours as well.