Four Months

That sometimes feel like four seconds, or four lifetimes. It is four months since he last held me. Four months since I looked at the hair I needed to cut curling against the nape of his neck as he stood at the sink. Four forevers.

And, for some reason, my eyes hit the clock at that exact moment, four months ago, that my life with him ended. And that crushing blow of disbelief hit me again. I still need him just as much as I needed him then.

On a very, very happy note, Nicole is home. They let her come home to me on Christmas Eve. Her brother and I had gone up to see her, on the way to take him to my brother in law's for their Christmas celebration and they surprised us with the news. Unfortunately, her incision re-opened as we were getting her ready so they had to staple her back up...She is doing really well. Today is the first day she sounded like herself in ever so long. (and her mama was able to sleep for once) Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers. I believe that they helped.

Yesterday was quiet. Nicole was not really up to opening gifts, but she gamely went along...hugged by Krandall (see previous posts about chair). She is doing really , really well.


and...

We opened the package from my dear and wonderful blogging friends, who have welcomed us into their lives and shown us so much caring. It contained so many wonderful things... and James was so excited to go through them all. There were slippers for all of us (gosh are they comfy), three embroidered fleece blankets (Nicole has not taken hers from her shoulders since I put it there, James and I cuddle on the couch in ours), popcorn, popcorn flavoring and even plastic popcorn boxes(!), candies, a netflix subscription, a coffee cup and starbucks gift card, and wonderful cards from all of them. Thank you, all of you so much. That was a wonderful thing to do for us. James loved the bag it came in. We can't wait until Nicole is feeling up to a movie night! I am still stunned by it all. The stamped cards were gorgeous, and Ella looks so adorable on the card you sent, Jess. Side note: Jess T, I got the card with Sydney on Santa's lap and I love the look on her face. I hope each and every one of you had a wonderful holiday...you made ours so very special. To be thought of like that...I just can't put into words. James is really wanting to send a thank you to each of you (as is his mama). If you didn't give your address, and feel comfortable doing so, please email me your address so that we can thank you.

I know a couple of people asked for bracelets a while back. Now that Nicole is on the mend, I will be going back through my email to get those out. I am sorry it took so long.

Yesterday, Nicole's best friend came by to see Nicole, exchange gifts and say goodbye because she is going to Florida for a while. She was like another daughter to Leonard and I, spending most school afternoons with us from the time she was 10, till 14. She gave an eloquent speech at the service and is a wonderful girl that I am glad is always there for Nicole, even with their ups and downs. After the service, she asked if she could have some of the flowers and she took quite a few, which I thought was odd...but then he meant a lot to her-she had told me she was going to have Leonard walk her down the aisle when she got married (that makes me so incredibly sad to think about.). Yesterday she gave Nicole and I bracelets made out of the flowers from his service. I was stunned. They are beautiful. What a wonderful child she is.
That is the picture you see above, on my arm...in the sleeve of the newly given jammies from my daughter. She had my dad do her shopping for her, sweet thing. And, I did not know that I had a freckle there, on my hand. Huh.

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday and I really hope to begin my blog visits again...really soon. I need them.

Love,
Laura