Really? It is? With millions and a nanny?
I am being my usual angry and judgemental self (of late) today. James and I went to the grocery store because I think I have my plans cemented. He will have Thanksgiving with my mom and grandma, and I will make a turkey for us on Sunday. While standing in line I noticed an issue of OK! magazine. I confess to having a subscription to People magazine for 2 years until Leonard talked me out of it. I miss it... I picked up the magazine and started paging through it, not recognizing half the names and wondering where the heck I have been for the last decade or so of television and motion pictures. I came to a story on Reese Witherspoon and that was the headline. I read on thinking what could possibly be tough when one makes millions of dollars, can take as much time off as she wishes, has a nanny (verified by the article) etc...etc...etc... I thought perhaps she would talk of the emotional strain, or how sad it is to not be a two parent family, missing the support. No, it was about juggling work and parenting. Which I am sure is tough, but for some reason really rankled me tonight.
For me, and I am only new at this, being a single parent is tough because of missing my husband, needing my husband, relying on my husband, worrying that I am messing up my children's minds and hurting for them. And I am lucky. We had life insurance, my husband had a good job, I am able to continue to afford the COBRA and still stay home and work from here.
For others it is far worse. No husband/wife, no insurance, sometimes working two jobs, no nannies.... and it makes me angry to read about how tough Reese has it. There wasn't one spot in the article where she said she was grateful for all that she had. Strike that. There was this: "I have a nanny who is very helpful." That's nice.
I can tell I am in a cranky mood tonight. I seem to have two settings this week. Miserable and Angry. Nothing else. Today the slightest things are setting me off. I am not being a very good mom. Today the feelings of wanting to run to that nowhere place are very strong.
Today I am thankful for little boys who help bring in the groceries after loading the car.