Saturday, November 24, 2007

What day is it again?

I spent all day thinking it was Sunday, but then knowing it wasn't because I am making the turkey on Sunday and the kids don't go back to school for another day. No, that doesn't make sense but welcome to my world.

My best friend came over last night, a much needed event. I was able to is and talk and cry and talk (if you call shouting at points talking) and miss him. Was it helpful in the way of moving forward? No. I am not there and don't know if I ever will's about the kids. End of story. Which brings me to what I am doing tonight, after not doing any of the cleaning type things I was going to do today and spending most of the day (until 5PM) in my jammies. Tonight I am going bowling with Nicole, Michele (her best friend), Michele's mom and James. What I want to do is go to bed. But I have to attempt a semblance of life if only for the kids. I will sit and pay because RA keeps from being able to bowl anymore-a pastime Leonard and I once enjoyed as teenagers. I really won't mind.


Betts4 said...

It is good that you could talk, rant and cry at someone. Friends that will let you do all that are rare. Most can't handle it.
I was supposed to do cleaning today for company coming tomorrow. I came home from my sisters and have been in my 'jammies' all day. More comfortable.
Good luck with the turkey and try to relax a bit. Sending hugs and good thoughts to you!

The girl left behind said...

I think there's something to be said for the "fake it 'til you make it" plan when you're grieving. Sometimes going through the motions can trigger progress in ways we don't expect. I found that to be true. Sometimes I spent the entire time wishing I'd stayed at home, but regardless, it felt like a victory that I was vertical and out of the house. Baby steps.

Also, talking to a good friend and telling the story as many times as you need to, the story of you and Leonard, the story of loss, the story of life since The Day--all that IS moving forward. You just have to think of yourself as moving like a glacier, not like a gazelle.

Hugs to you.

Kathy said...

Dear Laura,
Thinking of you during this tough time. Thankful you have the children to keep you out of bed and keep you going when you just don't want. Thankful you have that best friend you can let it out with. It is so bad to keep it bottled up.

Gina said...

I'm glad your friend was able to be there for you.

And I completely mixed up the days this week as well.